In other words, if he wants to hit her then either she has to take it or leave the relationship. Ana believed that if she couldn’t take “the worst” of what Christian was prepared to inflict on her, then she couldn’t be in a relationship with him, because that would show that she couldn’t be what he wanted.
Bad lines from 50 shades of grey how to#
This is not how to do negotiation.Īna’s beliefs were unwise. And, surprise, surprise, it’s beyond hers. (And if you genuinely want your friends’ honest opinions of you with a view to improving your relationship with them, you ask a different question.) Ana knew she wouldn’t like what Christian would do, but instead of asking him to start with something and escalate it to the point where one of them reached their limit, she asked Christian to go to straight to his limit. What Ana asked for was unwise. You don’t ask your friends, “Say to me the most hurtful thing you can think of” unless you are looking for trouble. Moreover, this would have been manipulative. It’s not how to do negotiation. Perhaps Ana thought she might have been able to retrospectively make Christian feel obliged to give her something if so, again, this was an extremely unwise assumption. And when you’re giving something that you’re not entirely willing to give (as was the case here) then then it gets even worse. Rather, that’s how to allow yourself to be trampled on while your frustration grows that you’re not getting what you want. Was this wise?Īna was bargaining badly. Ana was trying bargain for permission to touch Christian and she put in her side of the bargain without telling Christian she was after in return. Then, having told him that she loves him and the she can’t be what he needs her to be, she labels him depraved and, after sorting some practical details, leaves. Afterwards she’s in tears and wants to have nothing to do with Christian. She screams, cries and counts the blows as he hits her.
Six times, with a belt, on her backside, hard. But he “can’t risk that”, so doesn’t tell her and, in his emotional “torture”, pleads with her to stay.Īna then asks him to punish her to demonstrate “how bad it can get”. She asks for this because she hopes that in allowing him to do this to her, he will then allow her to touch him. And to top it all off, Christian agrees to hit her. On this occasion when she asks why, he tells Ana that if he explains his reason, she will “run screaming from this room” and “never want to return”. This is something he’s not allowed Ana to do and he’s not explained why. But now she tells Christian straight-up that she doesn’t like it when he punishes her.Ĭhristian reels in emotional shock in the realisation that her experience of him punishing her is as bad as his experience of being touched on his chest. So far in the book, Christian has expressed that he “needs” to inflict pain and punishment on his submissives and, in her quest to help Christian be healed from this need, Ana has agreed to go along with it. The extent of punishment is limited in that Christian will not draw blood or do anything that leaves a permanent mark. Reasons for punishment include Ana defying or disobeying Christian rolling her eyes at him counts as such an act, as does running from him. The terms of when and how Christian gets to punish Ana are set out in in a BDSM contract (which Christian wrote and Ana never signed). What happened and what was the background?Ĭhristian wants to punish Ana.
The ending of Fifty Shades of Grey (both film and book) is undeniably one of the most irritating things that I’ve had to get my head round. Christian and Ana were engaged in a playful game of cat and mouse around the kitchen – he with his dastardly boasting, she with her undaunted wiliness – and it was fun. It took me a moment to register that I was smiling as I read chapter 26 of Fifty Shades of Grey.